You just raped me!
by ObsessiveCompulsive5699
Summary: Vexen has had enough; Whats happenes to the others?


_**Author's notes**_

_Obsessive: Well...not sure what to say about this one...its our first try at kingdom hearts, so excuse our ignorance/crappiness...it also has a crossover-thingy...i wrote it, but most of the ideas were compulsive's...so..._

**Compulsive:Hallo, I saz. Um, we really got this idea from another story, so thank them...who ever they are...cuz i wreeallly dont know...ask obsessive. and we would be comming out with a butload of storys to publish tonight, if it wernt for the fact my my mean mummy won't let me stay the night. damn her so, yez, here it is. oh and sorry we had to write differnt auther note-ie thingies, it cuz we didnt post this at the same time...so ja, here.**

_**Warnings: Complete and utter crack, crossover?-i can't remember what its called, but it has a bit of naruto in it, so...- yoai, vaugue mentions of sex, vague mentions of torchure, swearing...-this is such a heart-warming fic, can't you already tell?-**_

_**Disclamor: Some day...some day, it will all be ours -cue crazy laughter-...until then, the world is safe...**_

_**Authors: Obsessive AND Compulsive...a rare treat...**_

* * *

"You just raped me!" Vexen accused. 

Straitening his clothes, Marluxia glanced at the blonde sprawled on the bed. "It's not rape, its surprise sex you didn't know you wanted!" He smirked a bit, before sauntering out the door.

Vexen stared. And twitched. And stared again. Suddenly, his vision went red, and he finally snapped. He stormed out of the room, naked, and advanced on the unsuspecting pervert with a look on his face that would have scared anyone senseless.

Meanwhile, in the Batcav-er, I mean, castle, Roxas and Axel were enjoying an afternoon by the fire, when all of the sudden a loud scream was heard echoing through the hallway. Soon after that Marluxia's face appeared from the doorway.

"SSAAAVVEE MMMEEEE!!!" His face disappeared, but his hands were still there, clawing to keep in the room. Though, those too were gone soon.

_'Damn, I just painted….'_ Roxas thought with a scowl.

"Roxas, honey?" Roxas looked down at the red-head, then to the hallway, and back. He smiled an evil smile.

"If you clean up after them, I'll do whatever you want me to!" He gave him the 'Extreme Uke Sex Eyes', and Axel was a puddle of goo instantly. He tried to run after them, but as soon as he was out of the room, he slipped and fell, knocking himself unconscious.

Meanwhile, in the basement of the Batcav-Oh Damnit, I did it again- castle, Vexen was making a call.

"Hello, welcome to Anime Connect! What anime would you to connect to?" An overly bright voice greeted.

"Um, Naruto, please."

"One moment!"

A few finger tapping seconds later, a slightly hung-over voice said "Hello?"

"I would like to speak to the Akatsuki please."

A pause. "This is one of Hidan's crack-whores, isn't it?"

"N-no, why?" He frowned.

"No reason. One moment." A click was heard, and it started to ring. Before long, another voice, this one rough and menacing answered.

"Hello, Leader speaking."

"Is Hidan there?"

A pause. "You're a crack whore aren't you?"

"Do I sound like a crack whore?" Vexen was more than a little miffed at this point.

"I guess not." A pause. **"HIDAN, IT'S ANOTHER WHORE!"** Vexen had to hold the phone away, and even then his ears were ringing.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Demyx was happily skipping to the phone, fully intent on calling someone, though he wasn't quite sure who. He picked up the phone and was about to dial, when he heard someone's voice.

"Who is it?"

He was about to answer, but Vexen beat him to it. "My name's Vexen."

"Well, Vexen, is there a reason you're calling?"

"While I was trying to get through, everyone thought I was your whore."

A pause. "Is there a question in there?" The other voice asked.

"I think there's an interesting _story_ in there."

"Um…you see…Why'd you call anyways?"

"You're Hidan, the guy who likes to kill people, right?"

"…Why?"

"I want my nails done! What do you think?" Vexen's voice was heavy with sarcasm.

The other voice, Hidan, was quiet for a moment, then asked the all important question. "Who'd you wanna kill?"

All of the sudden an ear-splitting yell came from Vexen's end. _**"OH MY GOD!!! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!!! HEEEELLLPPP MMMMEEEEE!!!"**_

Demyx didn't wait anymore. He quickly put the phone down, then ran/stumbled as fast as he could to his favorite Nobody's room. He walked through Zexion's door, and walked over to the chair where the man was sitting.

Not looking up from his book, Zexion replied to the boys silence. "Yes, Demyx?"

"Z-Zex-Zexy…The phone is scaring me…" His voice was weak.

"Zexy" looked up to see the blonde musician nearly in tears, his lip quivering adorably. He immediately sat up, and took the boys hand.

"Take me to it." He commanded.

Silently, Demyx pulled him through the hallways, down to the room with a phone. He pointed to the phone, then cowered by the door. Zexion threw a worried glance at him, before picking up the phone. He listened intently for a minute or so, and promptly paled a few more shades. He carefully set the phone down, and walked over to the trembling person. He picked the slightly bigger boy up and held him like you would hold a baby over his shoulder.

"I think we need to pay a visit to Xemnas…"

The boy in his arms nodded, and the walked to his office. Stopping briefly before entering, Zexion nearly screamed before running away, his hands over Demyx's eyes. There were some things _no one_ needed to see, especially when they involved Xemnas, Saix, a cup of jell-o, and a goldfish named Steve.

* * *

_Obsessive: So...um...about the last sentence...heh heh...well...you see...-runs away screaming "I'LL NEVER GO WITH YOU!!! NEVER!!!-_

**Compulsive: -dot dot dot- erm... -no comment-**


End file.
